are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
