hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
