adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Randomize
