Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
