I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
