You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize