No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Help. Why am I so naked?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
