Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
