Duck Duck Cougar?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize