i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
