feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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