Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Randomize
