I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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