no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize