I smell stomach acid.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
