Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
