Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
