I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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