Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
