i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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