theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
