some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
