even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
