he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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