On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
