Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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