when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
