somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
