Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
