They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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