Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
