It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
