I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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