Say something about gay babies.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize