You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
