Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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