well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
wow bdsm is so cute
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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