i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I love you.
Bad choice
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
