I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
