She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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