He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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