Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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