Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
