Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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