Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
