We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
