Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
