if i died would you start the facebook group?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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