Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Four minutes until I can fart!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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