I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
