Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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