first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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