but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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