I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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