Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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