I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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