oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
