halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
