And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
