peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
