Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
