just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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