Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
