Midget sex pt 2 tonight
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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