I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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