what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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