We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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