who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Im part way to drunk.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
