We're like a lot better than the average bears
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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