you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
