went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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