I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Houston, we have a squirter
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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