He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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