literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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